There are many tools and methods available for excavating shadows and finding the limiting beliefs holding us back. This was part of an exercise from the book Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliot, PhD.

The exercise called for listing out the rules that I had truly been living by – whether my conscious mind liked and agreed to them or not – and acknowledging them with genuine acceptance and pleasure.

The process of bringing my subconscious operating instructions to the light freed up psychic energy. Looking directly at what existed and feeling gratitude for how I had created my current reality made room to choose new rules to live by.

Operating Instructions

• I am not allowed to be both sovereign and in a relationship.
• I am not allowed to even daydream about a committed relationship without undercutting myself.
• I am not allowed to be pleased with my body for more than a short period of time.
• I am not allowed to express my desires without qualifying them.
• I am not allowed to be financially independent.
• I am not allowed to be wealthy.
• I am not allowed to acknowledge my inherent worth.
• I am not allowed to fully believe my own spiritual power.
• I am not allowed to be freely artistic and creative.
• I must cling to preserving my family’s impression of me.
• I must hide the true nature of my spiritual practice from my family and colleagues.
• I must continue to tell myself that I am averse to risks when I start to dream big.

I have lived by these magnificent rules and they have kept me cozy and comfy. My brilliant, powerful subconscious has faithfully created a life that follows every rule perfectly. Fuck yes! Blessed be!